


Needed Conversations

by A Small World (Datawolf39)



Series: Little Nick [2]
Category: Zootopia (2016)
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, CG!Judy, Gen, He still feels guilty, Honesty, Judy love him and wants to help, Judy talks about her past, Nick did some bad things, Nick has low self-esteem, Non-Sexual Age Play, headcannon, internalized prejudice, little!Nick, playfights
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-26
Updated: 2019-04-27
Packaged: 2020-02-04 14:33:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18606478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Datawolf39/pseuds/A%20Small%20World
Summary: Nick and Judy talk, and tentatively begin this new relationship.





	1. Talking

**Author's Note:**

> I've gotten this to the point I think that it is okay. I fear if I mess with it more I will like it even less.

Waking up was different than normal. Judy's first thought, was that it was all a dream, and maybe her parents had been right about her biological need to start a family of her own, and that for some messed-up reason her mind had conjured Nick in the role of her kit.

Then she looked over at Nick, and knew in an instant that it was not a dream. He looked embarrassed, and more than a little scared. Any thoughts she might have had on how to start a conversation faded when she saw him, because it looked like one wrong word would make him crumble.

In the end Nick was the one to start the conversation. “Yeah, Judy, last night happened,” he said seeming to sense her thoughts questioning the reality of last night. “I'm sorry, and it's okay if you… want to leave, and get a new partner at work. I wouldn't want to hang around some screwed up mammal, let alone a fox, that has to pretend to be a kit just to keep his head screwed on right.” This was all said quickly, and with a disturbing amount of self-hatred.

Now she might not have known how to bring up last night, but she knew how to respond to this. She sat up, and gave him a soft tap on the nose. His muzzle twitched, and his green eyes peered at her in disbelief. “Last night was weird, and yeah, it's going to take some explaining, but I don't take kindly to those that insult my best friend. So could you try to explain it again without the insults? You said you were acting like a kit to keep your head on right?”

She could sense his unwillingness to approach the topic, but in the end he seemed to decide that he had no choice, as evidenced by his sigh. “Nick, _Nicholas_ , if you don't want to talk about it, you don't have to.”

“Thanks for giving me a way out, Fluff, but if last night taught me anything, it's that it is an unavoidable conversation. This isn't something that happens rarely enough that you won't see it again." Hid tone had an implied, 'if you stick around' quality to it that made her frown. "I'm actually surprised I lucked out for this long. I would rather have this conversation on the couch though, if that’s okay with you.”

Judy nodded, not trusting herself to speak at the moment, and the two of them went into the living room, and settled on the sofa.

“So,” Nick started, uncharacteristically nervous, “you're still here, so maybe you won't be too freaked out by the reason I get that way sometimes. Basically, it started when the whole," here he ran a paw in front of his face, "trauma did. I lost more than my faith that I could be something more than others thought, that day, I lost my childhood. I never told my mom what happened, but I think she knew anyway.”

“Moms always know,” Judy agreed.

“After that, I started skipping school, I fell in with some bad mammals. I did a lot of bad things Judy, a lot, I wanted to feel strong, and I did whatever I could to feel it. I had to grow up really fast in that world. Let's just say there was a good reason I started the pawscicle hustle, and stuck with it as my main gig."

Nick wasn't looking at her now. Posture showing how ashamed he was of that part of his life. She rested a paw on his arm. He covered hers with his own, keeping it in place with a gentle pressure. 

“Fast forward a few years, and I was in my late teens. Barely out of the bad stuff, weighted down with guilt, and thinking about how easy things seemed before I was disillusioned. All I can remember is crying, and having to stuff both paws in my mouth to keep from being heard. I had never felt so small, but that next morning, I felt a little better. From then on, whenever the stress, and guilt got to me, I just let myself fall into that space. Let myself be a kit again.”

That gave her a lot to consider, and honestly, were she alone right now she might be thinking differently, but looking at Nick, and hearing why he did what he did, there was only one question she could think to ask. “How many times?”

Confused green eyes looked at her.

“How many times since we met, have you been alone, so stressed out, and upset that you regressed to the mental state of a kit?” she bit out.

Nick flinched, and she felt awful, perhaps he was still closer to that state than he was pretending to be.

She softened her voice. “I know you think it’s messed up, and I do think it is an odd coping mechanism, to be honest, I'm surprised I haven't had more of a reaction, but I don't like the idea of you being alone in the mindstate you were in last night, and I want to know how many times I left you to deal with that alone.”

Nick fiddled with his claws. “Just a couple,” he said, voice a bit softer than normal.

“Nick, please tell me.”

He gives a defeated sigh. “Every time you get hurt, and... after that press conference.”

Judy sighed. No wonder he hadn't wanted to tell her. She hadn't been hurt too many times, but it had been more than a few, but that was their job, that press conference though, well both of them had reasons for burying the memory of that terrible event.

“Nick, there is something I want to tell you. I should have said something before, about the reason I reacted the way I did that day, but I just don't like to remember how prejudice and dumb I was that day. It wasn't _you_ that I was reacting to. See when I was little, I was a lot like me today, only I didn't have the training to fight my way out of the trouble I got into, and I got myself into a lot.

"I bet," Nick broke in with a small grin.

"Hush, Nick, I'm trying to tell you something important. Anyway, there was this boy, a fox, named Gideon." Judy saw the the way he looked at her, and sighed. "He's a lot different now, he works with my parents, and I learned that he hadn't had an easy childhood himself. “ Nick looks unconvinced, but doesn't say anything, so she continues.

“So I was with my friends, and Gideon tried to take their carnival tickets. I stood up to him, he was twice my height, and more than double my weight, but I was being stupid and brave so I stood up to him, and well…” Judy opens her paw, and Nick places his in it. She guides it to her face, letting him feel the scars under the fur on her cheek.

“That day, at the conference,” she continues, "I was that scared little kit again. I saw the mammal that attacked me, and I was using any defence I had. I regretted it the moment it happened, and I don't think I will ever truly forgive myself for acting the way I did.”

Nick didn't say anything, but he gently ran his fingers over her scars. Judy closed her eyes, and angled her head so he had better access.

The gesture of trust was not lost on Nick, and he couldn't help being grateful. Now he understood a little more about her, and it was natural for her to have some fear of foxes after being attacked by one as a kit. Another trait he admired in her was her willingness to see her own faults. She recognized her prejudice, and instead of feeding it or ignoring it, she faced it head on becoming a better mammal in the process.

As he pulled his paw away from her face, he tapped her nose like she had done to him that morning.

She shot him a look of surprise, and he laughed. She punched him lightly, in retaliation, and he caught her paw in his.

She used her other paw to tickle his side, and he returned the attack, careful not to scratch her with his claws.

They fell of the couch, , Nick on top, holding his weight off of her by balancing on his knees, both fighting to get the other to surrender, and both equally unable to stop laughing.

“Truce!” Judy called out, laughing so hard that tears were in her eyes.

Nick knew at once she had gone easy on him. The girl could take down rhinos, one little fox was certainly no match for her.

He pulled himself up first, and offered his paw to help her. The fact that she took it, smiling happily, was something that he would never be less than grateful for.

~

That evening, Judy was home in bed. She had not allowed herself to think about all she had learned on her way home, but she did now.

It was weird, Nick’s way of coping, and made even odder by the way she found herself actually wanting to take care of him. His vulnerability in that state drew her in.

He was her best friend, and he had stood by her when nobody else would, even though she had blackmailed him into helping her. Losing him, for any reason, would be like losing a large chunk of herself. Without him, well, she didn’t want to find out what it would be like if he was out of her life. It was a scary thought, losing him, and she was also afraid of the way Nick had become entangled with her to this point.

So, in the end, that left her one option. She got up and opened her laptop, she had some research to do.


	2. Setting Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was written quickly, and I like it a lot. The next will have the actually regression.

The weekend took a long time to arrive. The week had been tense, and they had gained more than a few worried glances from their co-workers. Judy had tried to make it as normal as possible, but it just was no use. They both knew they needed to talk about it, and the worry over how that conversation would end up, seemed to make it harder to have.

Nick seemed so unwilling, probably because he thought that bringing it up would make her see how 'messed up' it was, and that would be the end of their friendship. Which was both stupid, and completely untrue.

There was no way, outside of them talking about it, for him to know that she was preparing though. Judy didn’t want to bring it up because she had a plan on how to approach it, but she knew actions spoke far louder than words. She wanted him to see that she wouldn’t shun him for this. Just telling him would never be enough though, not with how convinced he seemed to be that his method of coping would scare her away.

By the time that Friday rolled around, she was more than ready to put her plan into action. She arrived that night for their weekly hang out, and could tell he was surprised.

“What’s all that?” he asked, pointing at the huge black bag slung onto her shoulders.

“Just some clothes, and a few other things,” she said, walking in.

He gave her a look that said that he knew she was up to something.

Well there was no time like the present to let him know what she had planned.

“Nick, we need to talk.”

Nick’s ears drooped a bit, and he looked like he was preparing himself for the worst.

“Nick, it’s not what you think,” she said.

He looked at her, reluctantly hopeful.

“I did some research, and a little soul searching while I was at it, and figured some things out.” She grabbed his paw, and led him to the couch, so they could sit down.

“I found out that your way of coping is not unique. Other mammals do it too, some for reasons very similar to yours. I found out that some of these mammals have, what they call, caregivers, you know, people who care for them in their younger mindset, and I want to be that for you.”

“What?”

“I want to take care of you, Nick. Kits deserve all the love in the world, no matter the species, and I had that, even with so many siblings, I had all the love I could want, and I want to share that with you. I don’t care how odd it is, you and I are a team, like it or not, you are a huge part of my life here, and so I will not abandon you at a time where you need help.”

“Judy, you don’t have to feel obligated to… care, I do fine on my own. I just-”

“Nick, no, I don’t feel obligated, I _want_ this. I want to help the world, and you are a big part of the world to me, so of course I want to help you.”

This was said so earnestly, that Nick had to believe her. “So… um… what would you do? You know when I’m like that?”

“Well, I...um… bought some things. Would you like to see now or do you want to wait until later?”

“Now, if that’s okay,” he said.

Judy noted that his voice had taken on a softer note, and smiled at him. “That’s fine,” she said, and then she went over to the door, and picked up her bag. There was a lot in there, and she laid it out with care on the table near the couch.

There were two stuffed animals, one a bunny, the other a fox. A wooden box with three small puzzles, a few coloring books, a pack of crayons, a cup with a built in straw, and two adult cloth diapers.

She caught Nick looking, and began to explain. “I wanted to be prepared, I don’t know if it’s always a problem, but, I wanted to be prepared.”

“You made these?” He asked lifting one up.

“Yeah. I had to help my mom, I had a lot of younger siblings, disposables would have been very expensive, and would have created a lot of trash.”

His fingers began to run over the soft fabric, and Judy decided it was time to be brave. “Would you like to see how it fits?”

He looked quickly, before looking away. Not a no, but not a yes. “Nick, I want to care for you, and the only way we will know how it will work is if we try. Would you like to try it this weekend?”

“Never,” he whispered.

“Never what?”

“Did it on purpose.”

Judy tried not to show how sad that made her. It was heartbreaking, that he thought he should have to wait until he was falling apart, before he would allow himself the relief offered by regressing. She made it her mission to help him stop that, He could spend every weekend, and some week nights, if he were to need them, as a kit, if that’s what he needed. _‘Baby steps,’_ she cautioned herself. This might not work out. She tried not to show how upset the idea of it not working made her.

“Do you want to try?” she asked again.

Nick gave a small nod.

“Would you like to put it on or should I?”

Nick froze. “You would do it?”

“A kit can’t change their own diapers, right?”

“Are you sure about this, Judy, please be sure, because right now, I could stop, I could pull back, we could have movie night, and pretend this never happened. You have to be sure.”

She let a smile come over her. This was why she wanted to care for him. To need something so much, and still offer to set it aside to give her a chance to back out was nothing less than noble.

“Nick, I promise, I have a good idea of what I am getting into. I promise, I want this. The real question is, do you?”

“More than you know.”

“Well then, shall we get you changed?”

Nick’s gaze searched her, looking for some doubt or hesitation. All he found was eagerness veiled behind nervousness.

Nick smiled, clearly happy with what he found in her expression. Well if she was willing, so was he. He closed his eyes, allowing that side of himself that he pushed back until he was unable to keep it locked away, to surface.


End file.
